A Good Girl, A Bad Girl, and Privacy

by Kelly on December 16, 2009


photo by ((april))

photo by ((april))


I’ve done something strange.  I’ve compartmentalized my life. 

I’ve created these separate worlds in my life where I can act as different people.  In certain parts of my life, I play the “good girl” and in other parts of my life, I play the “bad girl”.  Most friends and acquaintances know only one of these sides of me, and I am constantly worried that those worlds might collide and my secret might get out.

By the way, I am going to use the terms “good girl” and “bad girl” throughout this post to describe different parts of me.  By good girl, I mean the conservative side of me that is unquestionably  socially acceptable but is also a little boring.  By bad girl, I mean the side of me that is wilder and that some people might be judgmental of.  Of course, I know in Truth there are no good girls or bad girls.  (We are ALL good girls regardless of the choices we make).  So on with the story…

Now that I have seen the kind of separation I have created in myself and my life, I am trying to rectify the situation.  I am trying to create a balance where I don’t have to hide.  I am trying to combine my good girl and my bad girl into one person that I can be proud of all the time. 

I was talking to my friend the other night about this and she said, “Yeah, but you have a right to your privacy.”  She said that if I want to be viewed as a professional, certain things in my life must remain private.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing it so long, but privacy kind of feels like hiding to me.  I’m good at going from one extreme to the other.  ;)   So my question is this…

Can you be professional without hiding parts of your life or (just as bad) without being boringly conservative?  If  someone you respect as an authority on the Internet was tagged in a photo where they were… let’s say… drinking and being flirty at a party, would you respect them less as a professional?  Personally, I like knowing that people I respect are human and more than just the professional front they put on.  But maybe I’m not the Sshhhnorm.  I’ve always marched the beat of a different drummer.

Can a professional be both a little bit of a good girl and a little bit of a bad girl without ruining her reputation?  Or is there only room in the “professional” world for strictly 100% good girls? 


I’m not talking about Corporate America professionals here…  I am referring to self-employed Internet marketers.  No bosses that you have to worry about firing you, but certainly clients that you have to earn, keep, and please! 

What do you think???  I really need some opinions on this one!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer December 18, 2009 at 9:41 am

This is an issue that comes up eventually for all of us pole dancers. There is so much crap heaped on anyone who says they pole dance, that it gets hard to know what to share and with whom. Bridging the gap by saying you are exploring your creativity and expressiveness can be a way to bring the “bad girl” side into the realm of acceptance for those used to seeing the “good girl.”


Cathy Goodwin December 20, 2009 at 10:47 pm

Nothing wrong with compartmentalizing your life. As a copywriter, I encourage my clients and students to share their lives selectively. It’s not a question of what the world SHOULD be like. We need to deal with reality. Look what’s happened to Tiger Woods. Personally, I don’t care about anybody’s personal life, even Bill Clinton’s. I think we are denying ourselves the best world leaders when we insist on digging around in private areas. But a lot of people do care so as a biz owner, I think of my image and brand when I consider what to disclose.


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