What is your biggest challenge?

by Kelly on September 21, 2009

Hopefully, you are on my mailing list and received an email explaining why this is so important to me. If not, you are still in the right place because there are no accidents.

I want your pole practices to be as flowing and uplifting (pun intended – hee hee!) as mine was last night. I want you to feel the same wonderful feelings that I experienced. So how can I help you do that?

What is your biggest challenge?

What is standing in the way of your pole practices feeling magnificent?

Is there one little nagging problem that you just can’t seem to figure out how to get past?

Please leave a comment to let me know where you are struggling. I’d love to try to help!

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Ulrike September 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Hi Kelly
Before I received your mistakes report I never ever considered pole dancing as an option for myself. But now I am really tickled. OK, I am a grandmother of 57. Do you think I can start, on my own, here in Namibia – somewhere in Africa? I was hoping to see some basic pole dancing ’step’s or movements on your main page. Are you going to put a course up eventually? Pole dancing for absolute beginners (and dummies) and then advanced etc? I would love that. And tell us more abut poles too, please. Are they fixed top and bottom or can one have a freestanding pole. My youngest daughter might (big ?) also do this with me.
from Namibia – somewhere in Aafrica
PS the writing is very small in this comment thing. I can’t see where I made typing errors. Please excuse.


Kelly October 3, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Hi Ulrike!

Thank you for your reply. I have to tell you how much your comment touched me. My goal is to make pole dancing accessible for women of every age, shape, size, and nationality so your comment is very inspiring to me!

Although I am not new to pole dancing, I am very new to all this internet stuff. I’m in a little bit of a technical learning curve, but I am catching on pretty quickly. You must have read my mind on what I envision for this site once I get the technical stuff worked out! I plan on posting free videos on my blog and YouTube and then offering online classes. The first classes will be for “absolute beginners”. I completely remember what it’s like to be brand new… the excitement (which never left, by the way), the insecurities, and the challenges. Although it’s been years ago, I still remember practicing “circle hips” with my best friend in her living room. “Is this it? Am I doing it right???” I kept asking her.

I certainly think you and your daughter can start on your own there… I think you’ll love it! I find it more fun to have someone to practice with so it’s nice that she is considering doing it with you. There are all different types of poles. Some spin and some stay stationary. Some are permanent and some are removable. There are poles that are fixed between your floor and your ceiling, but they also make freestanding poles. Most freestanding poles are set up with a small stage around the bottom for stability. I know I’ve said it before but I cannot stress it enough… you really want to make sure you get a quality pole that will be safe. Let me do some research on which companies ship to Africa and what is available there, and I’ll get back to you in a private e-mail with more details.

Thanks again for the wonderful comment. I fully support you in trying out this new adventure. I’ll be in touch with more info for you soon…


P.S. Thank you for mentioning how small my font size is. I thought it was small too but I second guessed myself since it was what the programmers chose. I plan on getting some software make it larger and more readable soon!


Ulrike October 11, 2009 at 8:07 am

Dear Kelly
Thank you for your kind reply.

Since I wrote my comment I watched a couple of pole dancing videos on U Tube. Argh! That is of course far beyond what I may ever accomplish. Hanging from the pole with your legs wrapped around it and such. But the moving around it, creeping up sensuously etc looks like a lot of fun to me.

I’m looking forward to your basic classes.

from Namibia – somwewere in Africa


Kelly October 13, 2009 at 2:04 am

Ulrike -

Don’t let the videos you watched discourage you! My style of pole dancing isn’t as intense as some of the videos that are out there. In fact, I really don’t even like to do inverts (invert = where you go upside down). That is why I refer to my version of dancing as “poetic pole dancing”. It is more about feeling the music and dancing around/with the pole, and not so much about doing trick after trick. The way I teach it, your feet can leave the ground as little or as much as you’d like. :)

Stick with me for a while… I think you are in the right place! ;)



sharkcrow October 13, 2009 at 3:58 am

Hi Kelly

I’m taking intermediate classes at the moment, have been doing so for about 8 months, and I’m STILL struggling with the pain that comes with sits / layouts / leanouts etc. My thighs don’t bruise (much – ha!) anymore, but the chinese burn is crazy, and I’m really struggling with the combos where I need to hold with my thighs for too long. Thigh high boots don’t help because they end just before the bit I’m gripping with!!

Any hints on getting past the pain barrier?? :)



Kelly October 26, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Hi Sharkcrow!

Sorry about the long wait for a response. I went to a wonderful Unseminar7 where I got to meet Dr. Joe Vitale, Pat O’Bryan, and tons of other really great people. I must have had energy overload though because I ended up getting sick once I got home. I’m feeling much better now, so back to the fun!!!

I wish I had a cut and dry magical answer for you on how to break through the pain barrier. Unfortunately, this is a subject that plagues many dancers in one form or another. Since all our bodies are shaped differently, we all experience pain and pressure in different dance moves. Moves that are hard for some of us are easy for others. My best friend and I are perfect examples of this… whatever is easy and painless for one of us is usually the exact opposite for the other. It can be very frustrating! :)

There are a few things you can try though. You can try adjusting the moves so that you grip with a slightly different part of your legs. Sometime just an inch higher or lower on your thighs can make a world of difference in how much they hurt. Also, you might try using a little bit of Tite Grip or Mighty Grip in between your thighs. It can make your grip tighter with less effort, which some people find help with that burning feeling. Lastly, I have heard people say to push into the burn instead of pulling away from it.

If you want to try something a bit more “untraditional”, I have had luck with both EFT and Ho’oponopono. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a technique for releasing pain and other things by tapping on acupressure meridians. Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian healing method where you repeat four phrases while thinking about the issue that is troubling you (in this case, the pain you are experiencing). While my first suggestions were physical actions you can take, these are more of a mental or spiritual nature. I would suggest using these before your practice. You can repeat them afterward if you are still hurting, but I think it’s more important to do them before you get into the painful situation.

I hope this helps! Most of all, don’t lose hope… It DOES get better! Stick with it and break up your movements as much as you can to give those ouchy spots a rest.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing! Always feel free to contact me if you have more questions about this or anything else…

Happy poling,
Kelly :)


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